![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_00.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBR7TPTi23xdKH-2IYNQwqL8MubFXYlSJ8v8jPycjG3Pm2oetOwoq-7Z2JPBg-C83amTQ93Kc9RoezAu1jtwp79v2djnIMNQYtYr8enbDQYxR6uQwzSVOW2pHjeXIPRxg1CNlnLNGy5_6R/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_00.jpg)
Here's Jessica Simpson performing in San Antonio last night, and who the hell is her choreographer? There's no nudity, so it can't be Joe Simpson.
![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_03.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaHQRITCcH1BJ549GX1n9_vxFv9Ykhrr0IpPMTJiT6ZkgruXkRWBskjTFUSSzH5f9aQuQDUOSsJnOELYKCa2YbdPJNcn8P2GuGQ6z_6wVGPIBxh3voQTBJJ8nBKORfI1vU29F-O3rOm31l/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_03.jpg)
But whoever it is, the only stage direction they seem to be giving is "Make sure you look 10-15 pounds heavier, and if you could flash a little gut, icing on the cake."
![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_07.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgShaTGKC5g9CWZsUTN-h62cCUdIemE1AoQLY_scuHiaOxMX3hZmQbACAMbR_wu2klN-AaTh5mWzTyJ34_-4PP1goN9I87B4SpszqTe2Ph2TOqF7bSbesdslpOZR1XklpTaytaMbx-QaDSg/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_07.jpg)
Then again, that conversation could turn ugly once it's revealed the cake is metaphorical. If there's one thing Jessica Simpson hates, it's metaphorical food. And dieting.
![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_06.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMvIWXbOJTv07z9l-rOWiTVb9SjJcFXG1ITcG33YFCP4_xIUOac5xF-_Z1iARS93yWJbnOaGmtZdb8aettRpstG-Dgdb7B-tey-hanpjcHgmSXCcfQt8KGMFSSV4dQWI-_6ENHNWCUpkVT/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_06.jpg)
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![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_05.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYxH57oVabGacvj78KLd2-lnovGjTQHfe-TENlawvoBJeZRUOKf1dmFsTdpSuscu6jXjbsuY4pEFoxMBjsg0ZqxKvfaoQxR06WR-2KmGxy3l6_NvvVDyTv93PGtMQqLhuczTNiC1eZTJE5/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_05.jpg)
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![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_04.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBsRSEgFhUYzpgPRB-M6PRExCBmf8ocWrdxBlKrIJfOaUlVHskzMYniB1lZMYRnoXffgzy6vIOquc7nUIIm51TnhaNtX3FqLhVgc4w7n3kIyYmF3FcyJOWekwmgAdSfv-UzzZtX_YifvvO/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_04.jpg)
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![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_02.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixvZ9YU36dpQChN-hdXCFiNSb_lJG9NEN3hkT8AYwBbQbfKY86B6QrDn0z-wAy5p57vV1OPg0BHLekEzMk3_VMmfGBDz3_PKswZkrG9KrXWwIhHRpbtS68-ruOcXEDgLRJvSql99Tx_Tzf/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_02.jpg)
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![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_01.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Fx3UiWFIO-8WUvUzx5i0iBLlxW2kFnfHcVusvQ0sZK9zQd-DEXlNJ_Mr3z2FE9gW6l2gFoDHs_1zV7Ml4HiDmF2VexSU_CQYAhP0XJ99Qk4TZyt75pXua5JNbum_enBtMN9msHIeMQgI/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_01.jpg)
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